Who Has the Biggest Belly in the World?

My mom always tells me to never open the door to a particular closet in my house. She tells me that the closet is full of haunted underwear! I decided to see for myself and when I opened it, an orca came out! I decided that I must be crazy! The orca spat out a fish at my face and the fish started bleeding. I thought I was seeing things. But then it started bleeding creepy underwear yelling my name in a haunted tone.

For no particular reason, I put the underwear on my head and I fell into a pit. Just then, I heard my cat,  Bad Smell, come into the pit. I noticed the pit was filled with live cockroaches and they started climbing all over me -- including my mouth. The ceiling closed over us and I was stuck in the pit with my cat, Bad Smell, and the cockroaches started pooping in my mouth. Then, randomly, a guy named Guts Garvey started puking spaghetti all over me. As soon as I thought things couldn’t have gotten worse -- Bad Smell made an unexpected BAAAAD SMELL!!!!

It started raining orcas while I was still trapped in the pit and it hit everywhere but my pit. The underwear started singing really loudly. I thought to myself that I needed the candy remote to rewind and decided I’d never come back in the closet UNTIL… 

a man started crawling out of the pit.  So I punched him in the face.

I felt the man crawling on me and I woke up to my mom tugging on my blanket.